Fight or Flight …

In the very real worlds that we each exist in, we often are presented with situations that evoke one of two reactions: Fight or Flight.  These really are figurative terms; Fighting can be devoid of actual fighting while Flying can be sitting in your room, and doing nothing.  In truth, the figurative term Fight can look to everyone in the world like you are running away, and the figurative term for Flight can look like someone who acts belligerently and fights everyone they know.

So what exactly do these terms truly mean??

In Michael Singer’s book, “The Untethered Soul” (which I have referenced once before), he describes a scenario where a person has a thorn in their side – pressed right against a nerve and very painful when touched.  They can do one of two things: remove the thorn (Fight) or figure out some way to facilitate life as comfortably as possible, without the pain of having to remove the thorn (Flight).  The thorn gets bumped by people or things as you walk around, so you invent a device that keeps it safely encased.  Voila!  See, you have triumphed over your personal struggle!  Except that the thorn is still there.

How does this look in real life?  Let’s try an example that most everyone can relate to:

First, there are two people wrestling with their own attractions, and feelings of love.  One person’s “thorn” is a fear of rejection.  The person is SO afraid of being rejected, and ultimately having their heart broken, that they act rashly: they become upset when too long has passed between correspondence (because in their minds this surely means rejection is coming), they monitor the other’s actions to see if they can catch them being unfaithful, the list can go on and on.

Ultimately what they are doing is trying to find ways to avoid that “thorn” from being touched.  So they have created this complex network of checking for ways to prevent it in advance, or they chasten unnecessarily to make sure the other person knows how serious the pain is if the “thorn” is touched.

There could be many forms that this takes.  If you have performance anxiety in your job, it can overwhelm you to the point where you either do a bad job or just give up.  Then you go on to find a less challenging (and less rewarding) job, so that you don’t have to face it.  Now you are unsatisfied with your job, so you perhaps take your frustration out on your family at home.  These “thorns” become SO dominant in that they end up affecting every aspect of our lives.

So how can we overcome this?  For a long time I thought, “I’ll just meditate through this.  I’ll accept the pain, take it to God, meditate through it, and move on.”  Here’s the thing though; if you do that then haven’t you already lost?  If you have accepted that this pain is inevitable, and you will simply go to God to heal the resulting pain … then what more is to be lost by just getting up, going out into the world, and fighting for what it was that you wanted.

If you have accepted that the person you love has given up on you, and that you will have to deal with this pain anyway … well, can’t you just as easily shed your fears and paranoia, and go out there and fight for that person.  LOVE that person, unconditionally, and stop being the paranoid mess that created the problem.  Even if they still leave you, you had already accepted that it would be so.

In the situation with the job: if you’ve accepted that the job is too stressful, and you’re just going to resign yourself to a life that is unfulfilling … well, what more is there to lose??  You’ve already accepted that you will be miserable and unhappy!  So if you’ve accepted that situation, what is to be lost by simply taking the courage to go try that dream job that is stressful … overcome the challenge.  If you fail, all that happens is that you will return to the option you had already accepted.

THIS is how we remove our proverbial thorns … by making our greatest weakness … into a strength!


Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.

We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!

There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.

By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.

In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.

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1 Comment»

[…] A very interesting post on overcoming performance anxiety: Fight or Flight … […]

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