Flying the Matrix

My meditations today (as based on my prior post, “Ineluctable Void – Personal Limitations“) took me to some very unexpected places … and not all of them were wistfully blissful.

First I was taken to my childhood; a time of wonder, and great imagination.  My mother was a great proponent of reading, and art, and using one’s imagination.  I think, in part, because of this I grew up having very strong faith … I believed without doubt that God would always be there for me, and that anything was possible.  I created whole alternate worlds to live and adventure in … every year for my birthday, my wish would be that I could fly.  I would spend hours excitedly daydreaming about it, only to wake up the next morning still land-bound.

I remember when I shut that part of me down.  I was on a plane with my sister, flying home to see my mother who was sick with cancer.  My sister was a nervous wreck.  I dutifully consoled her; I KNEW that there was nothing wrong … Mom would be fine, just as she always had been before.  I ran down to the gate ahead of her (back in the day when people could still wait at gates for the passengers) just so I could get the good word and go console her.  I saw all of my siblings, my grandparents, and my dad … waiting … and somber.  I was slightly confused but I ran up to them.  When they told me she had died that morning I could literally feel the sphere of energy around me crashing like shattered glass … I was in shock, and I remained in that place for a very long time.

I shut that part of myself down … that part that trusted God and believed.  I swore I would never again let anyone inside of me that deeply again.  I still loved God, prayed to God, and no matter where I went in life … I never turned my back on God.  But to trust God?  No way.  So many years went by that way … which is not so different from what other people experience.  In fact, I think that hard lesson and ultimate decision is pretty common.

That is the problem.

So I asked myself, “Why is it so important to keep this part open?”  The answer came to me immediately.  It is important because this is not only how we can discern God’s will and promptings daily … but it is also how we can spend the rest of our lives being happy.  We can search and search, and work, and run, and fight, and blaze as many trails as our mind can conceive of … but if we can’t open that vulnerable inner child to God, and allow that child to dream, and laugh, and play … then everything we do will be in vain.  We’ll be working tirelessly … for nothing but some trinkets and colored paper.  This is the Matrix … the system in place that robs us of our innocence, and our trust.

I’ll take happiness any day.

So today … I meditated on flying.  I concentrated on embracing those dreams again, that I could fly, and I took God with me.  As if I had a spiritual torch I began to go through every part of myself and set a fire.  I went to the dungeons with all the former pain and torture.  I went into the darkness of shames past and present.  I flew up through the clouds and did somersaults in mid-air.  I went wherever my mind would take me, and I put God there.  I opened myself and said, “I want You here.  I don’t want any part of myself to be without You.”  I allowed that Joy and Happiness to flood me.   I believe that I can fly … if God wants it to be so, then it can be so.  It may never be so … but I believe that it can be.

There may be some people who think this all is silly … “Meditating on flying (oh, jeez).”  To those people … I’ll bet there is some part of you that really isn’t happy.  Some part that makes you scoff sarcastically at what you deem to be “silly”.  How many disappointments have you had to bring you to that place?

Well, you won’t get out of that place by doing the same thing you’ve always been doing … that brick wall is a lot thicker than the head you keep banging against it (trust me, I know).  So there’s really nothing to lose … and only happiness to gain.

There is nothing truly meaningful that doesn’t have God in it (at least not for me, in retrospect) … so why waste time trying to keep God out of certain places.  God willed us to be … nothing within us is going to surprise God, or make God love us any less.  NOTHING.

God is hopefully waiting … because you are loved beyond any words I could ever write.


Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.

We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!

There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.

By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.

In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.

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1 Comment»

  Lynda Muraira wrote @

Beautiful and inspiring. Thank you!

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