Knowledge that needs to be destroyed

I found myself meditating today on the concept of what knowledge might need to be destroyed, in order to move on a new level (in coordination with my prior post to meditate on, “Yo-Yo Ma“).  Already there have been quite a few inner barriers and blockages torn down within me … so this concept made sense.  I had built up a construct within me for how everything in my life was supposed to work.  Those things that didn’t fit my construct were either avoided or challenged in an effort to keep that inner construct intact.

“So what is left?” I mused aloud.

Well, it turns out that the knowledge left within me (self taught “knowledge”) that needs to be destroyed is just about the biggest category there is … LOVE.  I not only have based my own sense of worth on what others think of me … I have based whether or not I am even worthy to be LOVED by whether or not someone else would choose to love me.

For a long time I chose to hide my Inner Self, because then I thought that if anyone
rejected me … it was just because they didn’t know the “real me”.  Once I opened that part of myself though, and got rejected on that level … OUCH … that was a gigantic, gaping hole in my heart chakra for quite some time.  To this day, that has been my greatest fear … that somebody would “get me”, really KNOW the true ME, and yet still reject me.  Ultimately, that part of me truly thinks that I am unlovable as a result.

That is “knowledge” that needs to be destroyed!  That is false knowledge, and it is not of God.

As I thought on it further I tried to remember back to a time where it wasn’t this way, and it was clear.  My mother.  My mother and I were soul mates … a connection that even my father tells me he was jealous of.  When she died when I was 11, I lost that.  So I looked to my dad to fill that space, but of course he couldn’t.  As a child, I thought that my dad could fill that emptiness in me but that he was simply CHOOSING not to.  So I carried that “knowledge” with me into every relationship … my worth would come from whether they loved the True Me (like my mother) or rejected the True Me (like what I thought my father had done).

I realized that I need to get to a place where I am completely fine … JUST AS I AM.  That I need to completely let go of everything I have “learned” to date, and simply be dependent on God to fulfill every part of me.  That it doesn’t matter if anyone EVER loves the True Me, because God already does.  I could spend the rest of my life in blissful solitude with just God, and be satisfied … as long as I keep my heart open to God.  That is who I need to be.  If down the road God brings someone along who wants to love the True Me, and share in the experience of Life together … then that is great … but it is not needed.

For now though, I need to work on destroying that false “knowledge” that I taught myself … that I am not lovable, or worthy of love, unless someone else deems me so.  That is my new task at hand … meditating my perspective of myself into an exact replica of God’s perspective on me.


Illustration of Brünnhilde driving her horse onto Siegfried’s funeral pyre by Arthur Rackham.


Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.

We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!

There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.

By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.

In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.

Southern California, Northern California, Mission ViejoIrvineLos AngelesSan FranciscoMarinSan JoseSan Juan CapistranoSanta AnaPalm SpringsLong Beach

1 Comment»

  Stephanie Jill Rudd wrote @

Succinctly put and extremely on the nail!

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