Self-Sabotage – look no further than the people you love.

The sabotaging mind … it is something we all struggle with on one level or another … or even if we’ve overcome it, we can certainly remember the devastation it is capable of.  It is that voice inside your head that tells you a million and one ways that something won’t work … so much so that you either give up on your goal all together, or you act rashly and impatiently and spoil everything with impetuous and untimely action.

Here’s the thing though … it goes SO much deeper than that.  We basically manifest what we devote our time and energy to … most often those manifestations look nothing like what we thought they might.  The problem is, when you allow that Inner Voice to run your life … that self-saboteur … the manifestations that come into your life are a direct reflection of that!  Suddenly everything, and everyone, in your life becomes a direct manifestation of your own need for love, or validation.

Speaking from my own experiences?  I have always believed that there is something wrong with me … something deep within me that, if anyone could see it, would cause them to reject me.  Consequently, my entire life has been comprised of a grand quest for the one person who could see me, and get me … and not reject me.  The problem is … I have been devoting my entire self worth to what another person thinks!  Since I don’t know who this person is, that then extends out … I have been devoting my entire self worth to what EVERY person around me thinks, because any one of them could be that grand savior of my own self-worth.

It has been a truly eye-opening experience this past week to not only become aware of this, but to take action to change these deeply ingrained habits.  Every time I have felt the urge to do something in order to build up my own self worth, or gain someone else’s approval?  I have stopped, opened that part of myself, allowed God’s LOVE to fill that part of me, and said to myself,

“You are Loved just as you are.  You do not need anyone else’s approval, or acceptance in order to be content, happy, or complete.”

I have been repeating this mantra a LOT … because that’s just how extensive my need for the validation of others had become.  Every single relationship that I would seek out would ultimately be one of two things: either the quest to find someone who would love me for my True Self, OR a new connection to counter-balance a rejection or sense of loss.

It was ALWAYS about finding fulfillment for that part of myself that I felt was empty, or lacking, or was ashamed of.  The truly amazing thing though, is that God really IS able to fulfill that part of you.  Every single time, so far, that I have stopped myself and opened that part of me to God’s Love?  I have been fulfilled!  I don’t need to follow through with whatever action I was going to devote energy to in order to get validated … I already have that validation … I just had to take the time to open that part of me, let go, and receive it.

Why is this so important?  Well, it’s not just about you, or me … it’s about the people around us as well.  We all get caught in this complex web of machinations … each of us trying to get validated and loved in a way that has meaning for us.  But we’re SO scared to actually achieve such a relationship that we ultimately run away from or reject where that true LOVE is actually coming from.  We either find people who are destined to reject us; and so we are drawn to them because of the desire to prove how lovable we truly are … OR we reject or sabotage the relationships that will give us this level of love … because the hurt of that rejection would be too much to take.

The ONLY solution is to allow God to fill this part of you.  When you are fulfilled by God on such a level … you can give love freely, because you expect nothing in return … you don’t need anything in return.  As Osho would say, from my prior post to meditate on … become a cool-head!


Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.

We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!

There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.

By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.

In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.

Southern California, Northern California, Mission ViejoIrvineLos AngelesSan FranciscoMarinSan JoseSan Juan CapistranoSanta AnaPalm SpringsLong Beach


  rachelmiller1511 wrote @

I can completely relate to living your life based on gaining the approval of others. I think we so it without realising it most of the time LOL!

I also really relate to your quote today about running away and panicking when we find that love we search for. I don’t fully understand why I do this. Sometimes I think it’s because the infinite, unconditional love of God/Spirit/Source is so alien to us. It is so much more than we could ever imagine, but so foreign. I start questioning is this right, am I going mad? Part of me does feel I will lose something if I continue to awaken. It feels lonely on the earth plane.

My Bipolar mood swings have been triggered after channeling experiences. My spiritual teacher says it’s the pain of coming back to the earth plane after having experienced higher energy levels that is the real trigger, not the spiritual experiences themselves. Totally makes sense to me!

  J Stewart wrote @

You are a wonderful writer! You will surely save lives with this blog – congratulations!

  Religion4All wrote @

Thank you very much … that ultimately is why I started this … to put out what God gives me on a daily basis, in my meditations, with the hope of helping, or providing hope, for anyone who happens to read it. It’s putting it out there, and just letting it be for whatever God wants to use it for … sending out LOVE has to accomplish something positive in the world! 🙂

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