The Never-Ending Up/Down

Sometimes your life can get so crowded by untruth. Something that seems like such an insignificant detail like, “I stopped to have a beer on my way home.”, or “I ran into my ex today.” can cause havoc on a relationship when not said. We know the other person will disapprove, so we just omit the truth … or even make up something untrue. “It’s not hurting anyone.”, we rationalize.

The problem is … this becomes a way of life. We do it for one thing, and then another, and then another … each one seemingly insignificant in its own right. As a whole, however, they become suffocating … every time you are questioned about these events you become defensive. The other person is not stupid, and they can sense that something is wrong. They then start trying to figure out what it is that’s wrong.

The biggest problem in this scenario is that their imagination is usually far worse than the little, white lie you told. That’s where the fighting begins … what’s worse is that the fighting is not even about what the lie was about … it’s about what they are imagining. This also leads to the other person starting to do unhealthy things of their own … as payback for what they imagine you have done. This is a slippery slope that can get messy – REALLY fast. Lives and relationships get sabotaged and ruined … by a web of little, white lies.

Sometimes it is not so simple though.  There are times in life where we go through such incredible changes in life … powerful forces beyond our control that cause us to literally change who we are as people.  When the effect of these periods ends?  You are left a completely different person … yet you are still in relationship with the same people you were beforehand.  So you hide things from them, because you don’t want to hurt them … you love them.  So it is not always as simple as “little, white lies”.

On a spiritual level this type of behavior is even worse, because every time you tell a lie, you are closing your heart. You cannot lie, and keep your heart open and connected to God … you may be a good enough actor to fake it, but that’s not the same thing. Tell enough of those lies and suddenly your heart becomes permanently closed … your connection to your Creator is shut down. Sure you can meditate, or pray, and reestablish the connection … but as soon as you’re presented with one of your omissions, you shut down again. Like Sisyphus pushing the boulder perpetually uphill … the boulder rolls down you have to go get it and bring it back up … and then it rolls down again … over and over and over.

It is impossible to stay connected to God and to accomplish what God wants to accomplish in your life when you are caught up in a web of deceit … no matter how small all those white lies might be.

So what is the solution??  Well, if you aren’t caught up in a web of deceit just yet … monitor things to make sure that you don’t!  Focus on keeping your heart open, avoid things that will make you want to lie, and when you are presented with that uncomfortable moment that makes you want to … step back, and take the time to simply say that you need to talk about something … and be honest.

If you ARE stuck in the middle of a situation where you feel like you just can’t stop … where you keep making things up just to keep whatever the situation is … going.  Stop … take stock of your situation … write down a list of all of the things that are involved, and how you need to be honest.  Then … you have to actually be brave and take that STEP … you have to be honest with whoever it is that is involved.  There may be major life-changing repercussions … but you will never be able to be where God wants you to be until you do this.  Whether it is working through these issues with a devoted loved one … or moving on … it must be done.

Otherwise you will be stuck with pushing that boulder uphill … for the rest of your life.


This post was a result of my meditation on my prior post, “Someday you’ll be a real boy (or girl)“.

Pic – Sisyphus, by Titian.


Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.

We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!

There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.

By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.

In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.

Southern California, Northern California, Mission ViejoIrvineLos AngelesSan FranciscoMarinSan JoseSan Juan CapistranoSanta AnaPalm SpringsLong Beach

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