Dirty Deeds

I’ve done some bad things.

I’ve done some things that might persuade some people to consider make me a bad person.

I’ve knowingly walked through the door of darkness; where I knew what I was doing was bad … and done it anyways.

There are people who will forever see me as who I was when I did those bad things.  In their eyes the idea of my being transformed by God into a being of Love, a warrior of Light, or any other generally good type of person … is inconceivable.

You know what though?  I’m beyond grateful that those bad things don’t define me.  I am so full of gratitude that there is grace in the Universe … and that I’m still loved in spite of the bad things that I’ve done.

For a very long time I allowed those bad things, or how other people thought of me because of those bad things, to define me.  I took upon myself the mantle of guilt, remorse, and shame to try and humble myself … in an effort to atone for my misdeeds.  The problem is that you aren’t being your True Self when you are flagellating yourself for the things you’ve done.  You are being the person others think you should be … the person you deserve to be in their eyes … but that is NOT who God wants you to be.

The Grace that is found in Love is absolute … you don’t have to earn that forgiveness.  There may be some people who will never forgive you for what you’ve done … but that is their battle, and their journey in life … not yours.  All that any of us can do is learn from our mistakes, fix our eyes on the Divine Love that is always there for us, keep our hearts blazingly open … and follow where we are led to be … take the risk to be who we are meant to be … beautiful creations filled with Love who are pouring it out into the world around us.

I’m very sorry for the bad things I’ve done … but I accept the consequences of my actions … I don’t run from those consequences any longer.  I wish I could take back the suffering that I’ve caused others to have in their lives.  I can’t though.  What I can do is give Love to them, and to the rest of the world … I breathe in their pain and suffering during my meditations and I allow it to be transformed by the Love that is within me … and then I breathe out that Love into world around me.  Whether it is received is not up to me … it is only up to me to give it.

I can never atone for my regrettable actions … but fortunately, with God, I never have to.  God LOVES all of us … no matter what … and that is absolute.  So don’t allow yourselves to be defined by the bad things you’ve done … and don’t allow others’ judgments and condemnations to define who you are as a person.

Just be Love … that’s all.

Peace and Love.


This posting was inspired by my prior post to meditate on; “Risking all to be oneself“.


Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.

We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!

There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.

By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.

In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.

Southern California, Northern California, Mission ViejoIrvineLos AngelesSan FranciscoMarinSan JoseSan Juan CapistranoSanta AnaPalm SpringsLong Beach


  Stephanie Jill Rudd wrote @

I so love this piece. I am sure all of us have things we feel we have done wrong; and wish we had not done them. But God’s amazing Grace enables us to release ourselves from our self imposed prisons and walk tall and free; to move forward trying our best to be the whole of who we are and can be. x

  Religion4All wrote @

You are so right, Stephanie. It’s really easy to get caught in the trap of guilt … we feel like we deserve it, or other’s try to make us feel as guilty as they can … and we just go with it. That isn’t the life that God wants for us … it’s throwing away the opportunity to do just like you said, “move forward trying our best to be the whole of who we are and can be,” I like to look at it as having a constantly open heart; willing to be a conduit for God’s Love. If we ever close our hearts (for any reason, and guilt is one of them), that flow of Love is stopped. 🙂

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