The Approval Exercise


There is a huge difference between caring about other people and caring about what they think of you.

Recently I had an experience which brought to my mind just how much I STILL am bothered by the judgment of other people (toward me). When it happened I went through what now has become a ritual for me: ground myself, keep my heart open … don’t allow the negative energy to make me close, or shut myself down.

There are sometimes in your life though when you’re triggered SO deeply that doing these practices, or any other type of practices, seems impossible.

So my mind went to work I trying to solve this puzzle. An answer popped into my head but it was not one that I particularly cared for … stop caring what other people think.

I didn’t like this though. What about my significant other, or family members, or friends? Do I really want to become such a jaded person that I don’t care what any of them think?? No … that isn’t the right answer.

Suddenly it hit me; like a lightning bolt, or lightbulb flicking on in the darkness of night.

The words rang through my head and then were gone, leaving the significant reverberations of their echo:

“You can care deeply for someone without caring what they think about you.”

Sounds simple, eh? Perhaps. How often do we actually DO something that simple however? Do you really deeply care for someone looks down on you? You can clearly see the sneer, or derisive disgust in their eyes … and you naturally respond with open-hearted compassion? You’re a pretty spectacular person if that’s true ;-). If not, here’s a helpful exercise:

I began practicing this yesterday, and it has already had a profound effect on my life! Whenever I have interacted with someone, anyone, I phrased the words in my mind,

“I care deeply for you, and I don’t care at all what you think of me.”

It felt liberating, I tried on different ways of saying it,

“I have compassion for you … and I don’t give a damn what you think about me!”

… and other formations of phrases that I won’t write here (lol). The effect was drastic and startling! Suddenly, not only was my heart open all the time … I became kinder in action, made more eye contact, and smiled with genuine, authentic compassion. I gave freely from the abundance that was within my heart … I wasn’t holding Love back; reserving it only for those who approve of me.

My caring became unconditional … because approval is a condition we place on others ALL too often.

I encourage you to try this exercise out, even if just for a day. Moving forward it certainly seems like one of those epiphanies that alters my life in a unique way.

Peace and Love.


Religion4All is an idea: that every human being (no matter their race, religion, sexuality, social status, lifestyle, or any other possible factor) is LOVED by God; just … as … they are.

We all are loved by God, and NO religion or person has a monopoly on it. Every single person on this planet is loved equally by God … SO many are cut off from God because they are told they don’t belong. God loves everyone … we ALL are beautiful creations … we don’t need to cringe when we hear the words “God”, or “religion”, or their judgments … God LOVES us all!

There is no requirement to change in order to be LOVED by God, or to LOVE God. God is LOVE, and LOVE is God … period. There is no one who God loves more than anyone else … there are only those who choose to LOVE more … to love God more, and consequently then to love each other more. In doing so, we grow closer to God … and know God.

By opening our hearts, and minds to God (free of boundaries like religion, or social trends); by LOVING God … we are exactly where we are meant to be. If we maintain that openness, never allowing any person or event to make us close our hearts, we will be guided by God to be who we are meant to be.

In that space of openness we can then live a life of LOVE, and be guided to where we are meant to be … forever in LOVE.

Southern California, Northern California,Mission Viejo, Irvine, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Marin, San Jose, San Juan Capistrano, Santa Ana, Palm Springs, Long Beach

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